As you may know by now, our friend Matthew Paul Turner has made this “Sex Week” on his blog Jesus Needs New PR.
Yesterday, he posted the first half of an interview with me here.
Tomorrow, he’ll post part two.
In this post, with Christian Sexologist, Becky Knight, she mentions a book that she keeps on her shelf…JUST TO HATE. Yes, she keeps one book in her collection…close within reach…simply so that she can regularly pick it up, flip through it’s pages and think bad thoughts about its author.
I love this on so many levels I can barely express it fully. It is so something I would do. And, at the same time, one of the passages she quotes from this “Sex Advice Book For Christian Teens” is so obviously an answer to the question, “Why do some Christian women have issues with sex?” that it just screamed out at me.
She says…
There is a book from a Christian publishing house that sits on my bookshelf and every time I see it I feel a surge of anger (righteous indignation, I believe) well up inside of me. I think it’s a dangerous book, and although I would love to throw it out, I keep it as a reminder of how a well-meaning book for Christian young people can get so much wrong.
The part of the book that I find most troubling is the chapter on oral sex. It goes on for pages telling girls things like:
All you are to him is a hole.
He just wants oral sex so he can brag to his friends.
He doesn’t really like you, he just wants to use you.
You’ll be overcome with guilt and shame about it afterward.
People will think less of you when they find out what you’ve done.
Oh, and the kicker for me is at the very end of this long diatribe the author writes: “But once you’re married, go for it!”
This is a perfect example of why I get so annoyed when Christians approach any sexuality topic as if they have lost their minds…masturbation…pornography…homosexuality…
When we lose the ability to be honest and rational about something…we lose the ability to find the truth.
My guess is that the author of the above screed doesn’t really think it’s okay to “go for it once your married” because no one that actually thought sex was a normal, natural, God-created and wonderful thing would describe it in such a bizarre way.
And, as someone that, daily, receives emails from Christian women wondering why they aren’t thrilled about the idea of sex with their husbands…maybe books like this explain a lot?
Now, in the spirit of “Sex Week,” I’m going to add an additional “Contest” into the mix…
If you can correctly tell me what book Becky is referring to…we will give you a free copy of any of our resources.
Of course, Becky can’t enter. But anyone else can. If you think you know, let us know. If more than one person gets it right, the first one wins.
So…what is the offending “Sex Advice Guide For Christian Teens” that the above quote is taken from?
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Hmmmm….I tried to submit a comment/guess earlier and I guess it didn't work.
Either that or my wacky (sometimes off-color) sense of humor ensured that the guess didn't make it past the blog administrator's sense of (imagine a good throat clearing here and use your best authoritative mental voice for the next two words, please) appropriate comments.
I shall try again. Is the offender "Dateable: Are You? Are They?" by Justin Lookadoo?
Like a teenaged boy looking to get lucky with his Christian prom date, here's my "stab in the dark": "Dateable: Are you? Are They?" by Justin Lookadoo
Sure, that is the intent (and not a bad one per se), but it really betrays an inherently anti-sex attitude to presentit that way.
A balanced treatment is along the lines of 'sex is very good if enjoyed in the proper setting, and extremely dangerous is engaged in outside of that setting"
I believe what the author is trying to get across to the teens is to abstain from pre maritial sex until they are married.
Eddie,
We all understand this was the author’s intention.
The question is, “Is it okay to lie to the teens to get them to abstain?”
And…how badly will these lies mess up their relationship to sexuality the rest of their lives…and…negatively affect their marriages?
Would it happen to be "The Dirt on Sex" by Justin Lookadoo?
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