Last week was a bit more “personal coaching” intensive
than normal because we had a few newer clients in the mix.
In the beginning of our personal coaching relationships, I
like to get an fairly detailed idea of the client’s current
situation.
And, last week, a pattern seemed to develop…
The spouses I was coaching all said “I would do anything that
I needed to do to make things better.”
Then…
They would give me a big list of things that their spouse had
EXPLICITLY told them that they wanted, needed or desired…
And then…
Another paragraph about how, of course, they would do anything
BUT those things (the things their spouse has already CLEARLY
expressed as “the issues”…
This made me think that either one of two things were happening…
1)These people were all married to “The Riddler” and they felt as
if it was not possible to take their spouse’s words as BIG CLUES as
to where to start…
Or…
2)They were making a common mistake that WE ALL make when we deal
with communicating/compromising with our spouses.
THEY REALLY DIDN’T WANT TO HEAR/UNDERSTAND WHAT THEIR SPOUSE WAS
SAYING BECAUSE IT WOULD MEAN SOME REAL WORK/EFFORT/CHANGE/COMPRO-
MISE ON THEIR PART.
The interesting thing about these situations, almost every time,
is that the ANSWER/SOLUTION has already been stated…by your
spouse…you (most likely) ALREADY know what he/she wants/needs/
desires…
But you are HOPING…that their words are more like “a riddle” that
you need to unravel…
You begin the process of “decoding” their riddle-like messages to you
in the hope that you will discover that, when unraveled, you will
find an answer that makes it easier/simpler for you to meet their
needs/desires…WITHOUT YOU HAVING TO CHANGE OR COMPROMISE OR DO
SOMETHING YOU’RE NOT 100% COMFORTABLE WITH…
Now, unless your spouse’s name is actually Frank Gorshin, they are
probably NOT speaking to you in riddles.
They are probably doing their best to express THEIR wants, needs and
desires to you.
So…
If you want to make some huge progress with your spouse…virtually
overnight…try this exercise…
Make a list of those things your spouse has ALREADY expressed to you
that they want/need/desire (in and out of the bedroom) that, deep-down,
you know you are TRYING to ignore….TRYING to turn into a riddle.
Tomorrow, I’ll give you some suggestions on what to do with that list.
And, to my new coaching client, Mrs. F Gorshin, you can ignore this
exercise…we have other issues to deal with.
To be continued tomorrow…
Robert Irwin
www.becomeoneflesh.com
P.S. If you are a fan of the original Riddler, you’ll enjoy
the video I posted today, “The Top 10 Riddler Riddles.” You
can find it here:
Last week was a bit more “personal coaching” intensive
than normal because we had a few newer clients in the mix.
In the beginning of our personal coaching relationships, I
like to get an fairly detailed idea of the client’s current
situation.
And, last week, a pattern seemed to develop…
The spouses I was coaching all said “I would do anything that
I needed to do to make things better.”
Then…
They would give me a big list of things that their spouse had
EXPLICITLY told them that they wanted, needed or desired…
And then…
Another paragraph about how, of course, they would do anything
BUT those things (the things their spouse has already CLEARLY
expressed as “the issues”…
This made me think that either one of two things were happening…
1)These people were all married to “The Riddler” and they felt as
if it was not possible to take their spouse’s words as BIG CLUES as
to where to start…
Or…
2)They were making a common mistake that WE ALL make when we deal
with communicating/compromising with our spouses.
THEY REALLY DIDN’T WANT TO HEAR/UNDERSTAND WHAT THEIR SPOUSE WAS
SAYING BECAUSE IT WOULD MEAN SOME REAL WORK/EFFORT/CHANGE/COMPRO-
MISE ON THEIR PART.
The interesting thing about these situations, almost every time,
is that the ANSWER/SOLUTION has already been stated…by your
spouse…you (most likely) ALREADY know what he/she wants/needs/
desires…
But you are HOPING…that their words are more like “a riddle” that
you need to unravel…
You begin the process of “decoding” their riddle-like messages to you
in the hope that you will discover that, when unraveled, you will
find an answer that makes it easier/simpler for you to meet their
needs/desires…WITHOUT YOU HAVING TO CHANGE OR COMPROMISE OR DO
SOMETHING YOU’RE NOT 100% COMFORTABLE WITH…
Now, unless your spouse’s name is actually Frank Gorshin, they are
probably NOT speaking to you in riddles.
They are probably doing their best to express THEIR wants, needs and
desires to you.
So…
If you want to make some huge progress with your spouse…virtually
overnight…try this exercise…
Make a list of those things your spouse has ALREADY expressed to you
that they want/need/desire (in and out of the bedroom) that, deep-down,
you know you are TRYING to ignore….TRYING to turn into a riddle.
Tomorrow, I’ll give you some suggestions on what to do with that list.
And, to my new coaching client, Mrs. F Gorshin, you can ignore this
exercise…we have other issues to deal with.
To be continued tomorrow…
P.S. If you are a fan of the original Riddler, you’ll enjoy
the following video, perfect for a humorous start to the week….
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