Comments on: Robert Rambles About A Spouse’s Lack Of Desire… http://becomeoneflesh.com/robert-rambles-about-a-spouses-lack-of-desire.html Home of Robert And Susan Irwin's Christian Marriage And Sex Resources Mon, 17 Aug 2009 15:37:42 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Marty http://becomeoneflesh.com/robert-rambles-about-a-spouses-lack-of-desire.html/comment-page-1#comment-118 Marty Tue, 11 Aug 2009 16:04:30 +0000 http://becomeoneflesh.com/?p=988#comment-118 Excellent post, and gives lots to think about. Excellent post, and gives lots to think about.

]]> By: Joshhh... http://becomeoneflesh.com/robert-rambles-about-a-spouses-lack-of-desire.html/comment-page-1#comment-117 Joshhh... Tue, 11 Aug 2009 15:59:49 +0000 http://becomeoneflesh.com/?p=988#comment-117 wow what a post! Thank you very much, this gave me some great insight & really helped me understand some of the same things I've been experiencing. wow what a post! Thank you very much, this gave me some great insight & really helped me understand some of the same things I've been experiencing.

]]> By: Bauer http://becomeoneflesh.com/robert-rambles-about-a-spouses-lack-of-desire.html/comment-page-1#comment-116 Bauer Tue, 11 Aug 2009 15:58:40 +0000 http://becomeoneflesh.com/?p=988#comment-116 We've only been married for 10 years but this is already a struggle for us. We have three kids and live in a stressful part of the world (missionaries in Africa) and she is rarely in the mood. I feel like I have to hint around for days and we may end up having sex 1-2 times a month. I'm doing my best to build her up, help out around the house...but most of the times she is busy doing stuff...and she admits that sex is the last thing on her mind. We've only been married for 10 years but this is already a struggle for us. We have three kids and live in a stressful part of the world (missionaries in Africa) and she is rarely in the mood. I feel like I have to hint around for days and we may end up having sex 1-2 times a month. I'm doing my best to build her up, help out around the house…but most of the times she is busy doing stuff…and she admits that sex is the last thing on her mind.

]]> By: Carol http://becomeoneflesh.com/robert-rambles-about-a-spouses-lack-of-desire.html/comment-page-1#comment-113 Carol Sat, 08 Aug 2009 13:14:28 +0000 http://becomeoneflesh.com/?p=988#comment-113 I was a "cold" wife - my hormones are shifting for me (I'm 49) and I need the bedroom to be warm. I take a hot bath or at least a hot shower to warm up while the bedroom is heating up. Something else I learned to do was take ginger tea with a bit of honey. Offer her a nice massage after the shower and see what happens. My hubby helps set the scene, too, by telling me he has a bath ready. It all takes an attitude of giving. My hubby goes out of his way to make sure I get pleasure and thus it is much easier for me to "warm up" or at least find ways to warm up. Oh, and there is nothing like heated sex to get the body warm - maybe she forgets that once she gets into it, she will get warm and then sleep peacefully. I was a "cold" wife – my hormones are shifting for me (I'm 49) and I need the bedroom to be warm. I take a hot bath or at least a hot shower to warm up while the bedroom is heating up. Something else I learned to do was take ginger tea with a bit of honey. Offer her a nice massage after the shower and see what happens.

My hubby helps set the scene, too, by telling me he has a bath ready. It all takes an attitude of giving. My hubby goes out of his way to make sure I get pleasure and thus it is much easier for me to "warm up" or at least find ways to warm up. Oh, and there is nothing like heated sex to get the body warm – maybe she forgets that once she gets into it, she will get warm and then sleep peacefully.

]]> By: krome http://becomeoneflesh.com/robert-rambles-about-a-spouses-lack-of-desire.html/comment-page-1#comment-112 krome Mon, 03 Aug 2009 14:37:12 +0000 http://becomeoneflesh.com/?p=988#comment-112 Perhaps a good way to look at the exchange with Denise (above) is that each spouse should only "keep accounts" as to what one owes one's spouse, and one should not open the "account book" as to anything that one's spouse might be viewed as owing. Focus only on your own debt to the other. If both can do this, the system works great. As to the exchange with P-J, a woman "forcing" HERSELF to act to give her husband what her husband needs is a good servant attitude in action, not rape (rape would be HIM forcing HER). Perhaps a good way to look at the exchange with Denise (above) is that each spouse should only "keep accounts" as to what one owes one's spouse, and one should not open the "account book" as to anything that one's spouse might be viewed as owing. Focus only on your own debt to the other. If both can do this, the system works great.

As to the exchange with P-J, a woman "forcing" HERSELF to act to give her husband what her husband needs is a good servant attitude in action, not rape (rape would be HIM forcing HER).

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