Become One Flesh

We were discussing sex at our community group last night, and we found out that the best way to get to know what your spouse likes is to ask! So here are 44 questions (taken from theknot.com) to stimulate your own discussions:

1. “I’ve always wanted to explore [X]. Would you be open to that?”
2. “How would you feel about trying this together?”
3. “What helps you feel most connected to me before we have sex?”
4. “What’s something you’ve always wanted to try, but haven’t asked for yet?”
5. “What makes you feel most desired by me?”
6. “How do you like to be touched when you’re feeling playful or turned on?”
7. “How about when you’re feeling romantic or sentimental?”
8. “What’s one small thing we could try to make sex feel more fun (or less serious)?”
9. “I know I seem like I want to be in charge of everything. But actually, in the bedroom, I want you to be in command. What do you think?”
10. “What’s something I do that you love watching?”
11. “Would you rather describe what you want to try in bed verbally IRL or send it in a text?”
12. “What’s one non-sexual thing I do that turns you on?
13. In an ideal world, how often would you want to have sex?
14. Would you want to schedule sex or have it be more spontaneous?
15. What sexual activities do you consider to be “having sex”?
16. What do you think is foreplay versus sex?. What are some creative foreplay ideas we could try in and out of the bedroom?
17. Are there any sexual activities you dislike or don’t want to try?
18. What does an orgasm feel like for you? Describe it.
19. What sexual activity is most likely to make you orgasm?
20. What is your preferred birth control measure?
21. What are your top three turn-ons?
22. What do you like to do after sex?
23. What makes you feel sexy?
24. What part of my body turns you on the most?
25. What is your favorite sexual experience we’ve shared?
26. What are a few fun ways you’d like me to initiate sex?
27. What are some creative ways we can both initiate sex more often?
28. Do you like to be in control during sex or vice versa?
29. Do you ever get self-conscious during sex?
30. Do you ever get performance anxiety during sex?
31. How important to you is sex in a relationship?
32. Do you think emotional and physical intimacy are equally important?
33. How do you think our sex life will change in the future?
34. How would you describe a “good sex life”?
35. How would you describe “great sex”?
36. What do you consider to be cheating?
37. How do you think your love language affects what you like in bed?
38. How would you describe sexual compatibility?
39. How can I help you feel more desired?
40. Do you think we talk about sex openly and honestly?
41. What were you thinking the first time we had sex?
42. What are some ways we could strengthen our sex life?
43. What is a sexual fantasy you’ve always wanted to try?
44. What is the best thing about our sex life?