One Flesh, Really?

The first time I read these verses, I didn’t have a clue what God was talking about?

“Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and hey shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:23-24 ESV

There is a lot to unpack there. I think it is somewhat humorous how Adam decides to name his perfect mate, apparently it needed to include his description that I still don’t fully understand. Adam was charged with naming everything that God created and the final piece, once his work was through, was to name woman. The world has tainted God’s gift to Adam. Today society says a person can be “married” to anyone (and in some states, anything) that they choose. My question about the world’s leading is simple, how do the two become one flesh? I think of batteries, each one has a negative and positive. It wouldn’t work to give power to whatever it’s attached to if it only had two positives or two negatives.

Why are man and woman the perfect opportunity for One Flesh? Because God designed it that way. Men have the masculine traits of God and women have the feminine traits. The world decided what those traits are and so many are confused about the identity given to them by God. Men who like to dance or create are told they must already possess the feminine traits of God so they need to find the masculine in another man to become One Flesh. Or a woman who has wordly defined traits of a male, then she needs to find a woman who has feminine traits to become One Flesh. Here’s what is wrong with that, it’s not true. God did not put Adam to sleep, remove his rib, and create another man. He created the man’s opposite, full of the feminine traits of God, woman.

How do we become One Flesh? Of course there is the physical way which, by design, we are made to fit perfectly to become One Flesh. But, there is so much more to it. We begin a marriage without a clue, most of the time, that we are going to learn so much about the opposite sex. As we have grown in our own marriage, we have learned a lot about each other. In fact, we tell couples we work with that our greatest aim in marriage is to become a student of your spouse. Many look at us like deer in the headlights the first time they hear that. Becoming One Flesh is a process, a gift, and when we are students of our spouse, we learn that they fill in the gaps where we lack. It’s amazing how God did that in the two humans He created!

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” – Ephesians 5:31 ESV

Intimate prayer.

I was looking back through our old blog reminiscing and looking for inspiration as we start this new journey. This is what I wrote six years ago:

Since then prayer has been a regular part of intimate times together. I can’t imagine our sex life without prayer!

God tells us in Genesis 2:24 that a man is to leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and to become one flesh. Shouldn’t I ask for His help and His presence when we physically “Become One Flesh”?

When we started praying together in the evenings we began simply by reading John Eldredge’s “Bedtime Prayer” together. (That prayer can be found here: And we still pray every night before bed using similar prayers to consecrate our home, give our lives and our wills over to Jesus, kick out foul spirits, break word curses spoken over us, break soul ties and armor up before going to sleep.

We basically do the same thing before we make love. We consecrate our home, our bodies and our time so that distractions are removed, and we can focus fully on each other. I could never have imagined the power of prayer to bless our marriage and our sex life, but today I am grateful for it!

And for what comes in the next verse…

“Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.” – Genesis 2:25

Hello, Again!

For those who subscribed to our last blog, Just the 3 of Us, we are excited to reconnect with you! And for those who are new subscribers, welcome to our journey!

We started a new blog to go with our new season of life – and our new mission:

“God is calling us to create an adventure where we can recover what has been “lost” in today’s marriages – in ours first, then in others.”

What has been lost? Intimacy – with the Lord, and with each other.

That’s why we called our blog “Become One Flesh”. We want to restore One Flesh in our marriage, and help others discover it in theirs by sharing our stories. Stay tuned in the coming weeks and months as we tell our stories – past and present – of challenges, losses, separation, healing, and restoration within our lives individually and in our marriage. Will you join us?

Matt & Chandra

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