God as Sculptor

I know it’s been awhile since we’ve posted. We have been trying to figure out what God wants us to pursue in this next season. We have both agreed that we need to start posting again – and July is all about remembering:

Recently Chandra and I read a devotional in YouVersion (The 7 Rings of Marriage), and this is what stood out to me when thinking about the purpose of the trials we go through:

“God is using you to create something great in your marriage. Imagine a hammer, chisel, and stone. God is the blacksmith.” (I would have said “sculptor”!) “Sometimes Jackie is the chisel and Stephana is the stone. Sometimes it’s the opposite. God hammers the chisel causing it to break pieces of the stone, which may be painful. But God’s intentions aren’t to destroy either of you or your marriage. His purpose is to make you and your marriage pleasing in His sight.”

His Word tells me to be glad when I go through these trials, and that I will have joy when His glory is revealed to the world. (1 Peter 4:12-13) That is my dream – for our marriage, and for all marriages! Marriages should be a place where people can look for God’s glory! It is way too easy to get divorced – and our God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). What if Christian marriages looked different than the world because we remembered that WE are NOT OF THIS WORLD?

When Chandra left me four days before Christmas in 2019, we both had choices we could make. Would she go seek out another man to fulfill her dreams? Would I remember all the times she had hurt me, vow to get even and go find another woman to fulfill me? Or would I remember who I am IN CHRIST, the vow I made to her, and search for MY OWN HEALING so God could RESTORE our marriage like Christ longs to RESTORE us to himself???

I could have focused on all the illness we have had to endure in our marriage (Chandra’s 46 surgeries, my 4 surgeries, depression, malnutrition, addiction, etc.) I could have focused on the financial struggles (bankruptcy, foreclosure, student loans). I could have focused on all the disagreements we have had and the times she hurt me. I could have focused on all the disappointments, failures, and unmet expectations. (Chandra could have done the same! …OUCH) But instead I chose to REMEMBER how we came through all the struggles, illnesses and obstacles stronger and more mature. God may have been pruning something in me to help me produce more fruit (John 15). When I look back over my life, I have a choice to make – do I look back in regret, or do I REMEMBER the good things and focus on those?

Sometimes I have to look back, with God, and remember who I used to be – and allow Him to show me His glory – coming to fruition in me, in Chandra and in our marriage. I’m not who I want to be, but thank God I’m not who I used to be, either.

It took us almost six months of counseling, talking and REMEMBERING the good times before we were ready to recommit to each other again. We have walked through hard times together, and we still choose to share our lives and create even more lasting memories. And when I look back and remember, God can show me how he has sculpted Chandra, and me, and our marriage, into something beautiful that brings HIM glory.

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” – Ephesians 2:10 NLT

Join us this weekly this month as we remember what God has done in each of us and in our marriage to grow us and bring glory to Himself.