One Flesh, Really?

The first time I read these verses, I didn’t have a clue what God was talking about?

“Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and hey shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:23-24 ESV

There is a lot to unpack there. I think it is somewhat humorous how Adam decides to name his perfect mate, apparently it needed to include his description that I still don’t fully understand. Adam was charged with naming everything that God created and the final piece, once his work was through, was to name woman. The world has tainted God’s gift to Adam. Today society says a person can be “married” to anyone (and in some states, anything) that they choose. My question about the world’s leading is simple, how do the two become one flesh? I think of batteries, each one has a negative and positive. It wouldn’t work to give power to whatever it’s attached to if it only had two positives or two negatives.

Why are man and woman the perfect opportunity for One Flesh? Because God designed it that way. Men have the masculine traits of God and women have the feminine traits. The world decided what those traits are and so many are confused about the identity given to them by God. Men who like to dance or create are told they must already possess the feminine traits of God so they need to find the masculine in another man to become One Flesh. Or a woman who has wordly defined traits of a male, then she needs to find a woman who has feminine traits to become One Flesh. Here’s what is wrong with that, it’s not true. God did not put Adam to sleep, remove his rib, and create another man. He created the man’s opposite, full of the feminine traits of God, woman.

How do we become One Flesh? Of course there is the physical way which, by design, we are made to fit perfectly to become One Flesh. But, there is so much more to it. We begin a marriage without a clue, most of the time, that we are going to learn so much about the opposite sex. As we have grown in our own marriage, we have learned a lot about each other. In fact, we tell couples we work with that our greatest aim in marriage is to become a student of your spouse. Many look at us like deer in the headlights the first time they hear that. Becoming One Flesh is a process, a gift, and when we are students of our spouse, we learn that they fill in the gaps where we lack. It’s amazing how God did that in the two humans He created!

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” – Ephesians 5:31 ESV