Become One Flesh

Remembrance runs throughout the Bible. God set a rainbow in the skies so we would remember the flood and His promise to never again destroy the earth with a flood. He had the Israelites set stones at the river Jordan to remember crossing over into the promised land. Samuel set an “ebenezer” or “stone of help” so that future generations could remember the Israelites victory over the Philistines. A ring is on my finger so I remember the covenant and vows I made to Chandra at our wedding. Over and over again we see God creating ways to remember His works. He wants us to live in remembrance.

After several months of counseling, one of our counselors gave Chandra and I the questions we had answered when we started with him and had us answer them again. When we compared them, we noticed that our relationship had improved much more than we had realized. He does this for all his clients – we forget to REMEMBER where we were, and see how God has matured us!

Plus the ENEMY wants us to believe nothing has changed, and it will never get any better than it is right now. If we believe in Jesus, He is working in us and through us to finish the work He started in us when we first believed. (Phillipians 2:13) He loves us too much to let us remain stuck where we are.

Chandra and I take a weekend every fall to look back and REMEMBER – the last year, our milestones – and to look forward to the following year. If I never looked back, I would constantly be striving for some better version of myself instead of looking back and seeing all the work God has done in me. Looking back helps me to live in the confidence of the work He has done and is doing in me every day.

¹¹ But then I recall all you have done, O Lord;
    I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago.
¹² They are constantly in my thoughts.
    I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works.

¹³ O God, your ways are holy.
    Is there any god as mighty as you?
¹⁴ You are the God of great wonders!

Psalm 77: 11-14a NLT

Three and a half years ago when Chandra left me I was an angry man. Everything made me angry. I had some wounds I hadn’t dealt with, and I was blaming everyone else for the problems I was having. Bad drivers made me angry – slow cashiers made me angry – even minor frustrations caused anger that was out of proportion to the size of the problem. I was focusing on things I didn’t have instead of the things that God has given me. And Chandra took the brunt of my anger because she was the one who lived with me!

Fast forward to today, and things don’t bother me near like they did then. Life is full of peace. I have learned to yield to others – especially my wife. I still have days when my focus is off. But when I start my day remembering the good things – whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable (Philippians 4:8) – and keep my eyes focused on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith (Hebrews 12:2) – He gives me all that I need (Psalms 16:5)!